I have learned to be content with
whatever I have. (Philippians 4.11)
“I don’t like Paul.”
I’ve heard several people say this lately. My response is always the same—a
sympathetic nod—because Paul isn’t easy to like. On one page, he takes our
breath away with eloquent dissertations on God’s grace. On the next, he trips
all over himself, snarling at his detractors, belittling women, and mistaking
swagger for certainty. But while I too quarrel with Paul’s personality and more
than a few of his ideas, I like him very much. I like him because he’s
difficult to like. I like him because he’s never reluctant to admit to his
messiness. Most of all, I like him because he’s our finest example of a sincere
Christian trying to figure out how all of this is supposed to work and what it
all means.
I see Paul as a sort of lead investigator in the faith lab.
He’s constantly at work, observing new phenomena, combining ancestral beliefs
with novel approaches, debunking outdated myths, replacing them with fresh
paradigms, and always—always—struggling
unlock the Gospel’s revolutionary truths. Paul insists on publishing his
findings as he goes, a daring proposition for anyone carving out new territory,
let alone someone tasked with establishing the principles and practices of a radical
faith movement. As a result, we’re privy to his blunders as well as his
breakthroughs. It’s why we see him barrel down a dead-end alley one place—for
instance, in his condescension toward women’s roles in the home and church—and
then reverse his direction elsewhere, as he does by declaring, “there is no
longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus,” in Galatians
3. These flaws attest to Paul’s obsession with figuring things out. Despite his
irksome vanity, he’s not interested in proving how smart he is. He’s doing his
best to put everything together for the sake of the Gospel. He may not be
likeable. But he’s always sincere.
We can get closer to Paul by recalling that, like many of
us, he’s the product of a highly prescriptive faith environment. Before Christ
charges him to be an Apostle, he already knows the Hebrew Bible by heart and has
gained respect as a model seminarian. On top of that, he’s a Roman citizen, a
foreign-born Jew of the merchant class, a person of privilege. So he comes from
an entirely different place than the other disciples. By the time he’s stopped
by a vision of Jesus on the Damascus Road, he’s sure he’s got a handle on how
things work. Now he has to start all over again. And one of the key shifts in
Paul’s life occurs when he learns to differentiate between complacency and
contentment.
In Philippians 4.11-13, we find Paul’s magnificent
contentment confession: “I have learned to be content with whatever I have… In
any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of
going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need.” And what is his secret? “I
can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.” We can assume Paul’s
talking only about his physical and material needs. Yet I’m of the mind it runs
deeper than that. I believe he would also add, “I know what it’s like to be
religiously complacent and how to be content with unanswered questions. I can
remain committed to trying to figure it all out, while conceding it’s more than
I can ever comprehend.” Now his famous “I can do all things” statement becomes
an epic declaration of faith in the making.
I’m thoroughly convinced that every Lenten desert contains a
Damascus Road of some kind—a bracing encounter with Christ that calls us away
from shallow lives of religious complacency and leads to the deeper mysteries
of faith. We won’t figure it all out. We’ll make blunders and find ourselves
backtracking from ideas we’ve embraced in the past. Not everyone will be happy
with us. But in our pursuit of right relationship with God we can find
contentment. Paul told Timothy, “There is great gain in godliness combined with
contentment.” (1 Timothy 6.6) Pursuing God’s will and way inevitably requires
us to start over, clearing away ready-made answers to make room for questions
we can’t possibly resolve. But when we combine that with contentment, we will
gain strength for our journey and discover lives of faith that are anything but
complacent.
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